... In our last Chapter, you, the Faithful Reader were challenged to guess what our next stop on the Great American Road Trip might be...There were thousands of responses...Ok, Ok, there was just the one response. That was from our dear friend, the beautiful and talented Katie... Katie guessed California. Katie was wrong...
...Our next destination was Utah...UTAH???...Weren't you already in UTAH???...Why, yes, Suzie we were in Utah, but given the terrain in this state it's sometimes necessary to leave the state, drive for a while in another state, then re-enter the original state in order to reach your destination...Such is the case when you want to travel from Monument Valley to Bryce Canyon, both in Utah....
...But we are getting ahead of ourselves here...don't you, the Curious Reader, want to hear about our accident??? Briefly, the magnificent Beast was brutally rear-ended by...oh wait, let's start at the beginning...
...The beginning: The pleasant drumming of raindrops on the roof awakened your Slumbering Captain on the day of departure. In his groggy state, the Captain commenced all preparations necessary to mobilize the Beast and its occupants. This accomplished, we departed Goulding's RV Resort.
...As we were descending the first very steep incline, the Beast was slammed into by...oh no...the JEEP. The JEEP, you say...but isn't the JEEP always tethered securely behind the Beast???
...The accident investigation team (consisting mainly of the Captain and an anonymous camper), using the latest forensic techniques (looking at the aftermath) determined:
a.) The Groggy and Careless Captain had attached only one of two tow bars to the JEEP...
b.) The JEEP, restrained by only the one bar attempted to PASS the Beast on the first steep hill...
c.) The passing maneuver could not be completed due to the safety cables connected to the JEEP...
d.) The JEEP, frustrated by its inability to pass the Beast, suffered Road Rage, threw a tantrum and rear ended the Beast out of spite...
e.) This resulted in:
...1. A severe bend in the large (and previously attractive) chrome tailpipe of the Beast...
...2. The destruction of the blue undercarriage lights on the Beast...
...3. The demolition of Your Intrepid Captain's image as Mr Perfection in the Commodorable's eyes...
...The tailpipe looked kinda like this when new...
...These mood lights were extinguished...
...There are no before and after pictures of Your Illustrious Captain's image as Mr Perfection...
...Needless to say, Leslie and I "had words"...I didn't get to use mine...
...Nonetheless, the Determined Captain severely scolded the JEEP (called it a few unpleasant names), wrestled it back into position behind the Beast, connected it PROPERLY, and resumed the journey...and yes, Billy, the Captain, as he explained to his boss, the Commodorable, DID triple check all connections this time...
...after driving about 6 miles, we entered ...
...Arizona. State Motto: " But it's a DRY HEAT". ( ...so is an open flame...)
...So we are in Arizona. Are we going to the Grand Canyon??? No, Priscilla, we are not gonna go there at this time. We are, if you will try to stay focused, headed to Bryce Canyon, Utah.
...The reason we entered Arizona is caused by this...
...this is the Glen Canyon Dam, which plugs up the Colorado River to create...
...Lake Powell...
Factoid: Lake Powell is 186 miles long and as much as 25 miles wide in some sections...
...The Beast resting before crossing the Glen Canyon Bridge (seen in the distance)...
...And so, after navigating around Lake Inconvenience...er...ah...Lake Powell, we finally re-enter Utah and proceed northward to Bryce, Utah...
...We stayed at the famous Ruby's Ranch...( main building shown here)...
...The RV sites were quite large (80 feet by 30 feet)... While it looks like sand, the ground here is concrete hard...a bit dusty, but hard...
...Having arrived in the early afternoon, the Captain, with the assistance of the Commodorable and Jose Cuervo, repaired the damage done earlier by the evil and mean spirited JEEP. ( If you are keeping track, you have seen that your Captain fixes a lot of things...he's handy that way...)
...The next morning, we drove the 35 or so mile tour of the Bryce Canyon rim. We stopped at every scenic overlook. We dodged the hordes of invading Asian tourists with their ever present 35 mm cameras and took a few pictures...
...The Bryce Canyon Natural Bridge...
...The Captain checking out the hoodoos...
...more hoodoos...
...still more hoodoos...
Definition: HOODOO...A rock formation which seems to rise out of the earth for hundreds of feet into the sky...
Factoid: The hoodoo doesn't actually rise from the earth, but rather it is formed when the weaker soil around it is moved by erosion from wind and rainfall...the creation of these hoodoos takes millions of years...
...You'll remember the dubious claim of the State of Minnesota that it is the land of 10,000 lakes...Well to their credit, Utahns (yes, Francis, that is what they are called...only one "a" is used) make no such claim to have actually counted the hoodoos...Your Captain estimates the number of hoodoos to be 1.342 Gazillion...look for future Utah license plates to say..."Utah, Land of 1.342 Gazillion Hoodoos"...this certainly makes as much sense as Land of 10,000 Lakes...
...In an attempt to escape the Asian Invasion of 2015 (our videos have so much Japanese cross talk on them they sound like scenes from the Seven Samurai), we ventured out onto Utah Route 12. Note that Rt 12 is at least the 75th road which claims to be America's most scenic...
...Here, we'll let you decide...
...Notice that there are no guard rails...They compensate for this by setting the speed limit to...60MPH!!!
...This stretch of Rt 12 is called Hogback Ridge...texting while driving here will generally result in a missing persons report...the drop offs are as much as 2,000 feet to the canyon floor...You cannot see the bottoms from your car window, but you can imagine the carnage lying in twisted wrecks below...
...This fine stretch of byway is called the Devil's Backbone...again, note the glorious absence of safety features...Utahns are a hardy lot, that is, those who survive their Sunday drives...
...There are two of these along Rt 12...,
...beautiful vistas around every corner...
...Almost looks like a moonscape at times...
...Inspirational quote from the Duke in a rest room in Tropic, Utah along Rt 12....
...Traveler's Tip: Never order Pizza in Tropic, Utah. Order the soup de jour, leave the soup and eat the packages of crackers which come with the soup...
...All in all, the day was a glorious one, not counting the pizza...
...The next day we awoke to outside temperatures of 36 degrees Fahrenheit...
...This, unfortunately, signals to the Commodirable that it is time to drag out the UGGS boots...
...Your Captain does not like UGGS boots, despite his grudging admiration for their honesty in naming the unattractive footwear...
...Clearly it is time to decamp and march on to warmer climates where the footwear of the day returns to flip flops...
....Such a place would be Hurricane, Utah. (The locals corrected our pronunciation of this common word...they pronounce it "Hurakin". It is funny to have someone from Utah correct a Floridian's pronunciation of the word "hurricane"...)
...Anyway, the route to Hurricane ( or if you prefer, Hurakin) makes the previously pictured Devil's Backbone look like the Autobahn...at least the middle portion of it along Rt 14
...The 40 mile stretch of Rt 14 begins at an elevation of 8,000 ft, quickly climbs to 10,000 ft and then descends over 6,000 ft in elevation at a rate of 150 feet per minute!!! The roadway width is similar to the sidewalks of Naples, FL. (Without the Bentley and Rolls Royce automobiles parked alongside). During a few of the curves you can see your own rear license plate...
...If you were driving a good sports car, you could describe Rt 14 as EXHILARATING. If, on the other hand, you are driving the 25 Ton Beast which is towing the 2.5 Ton JEEP, other adjectives will come to mind...
...After your descent you arrive in Cedar City where you get on Interstate 15 South. This road is fairly flat and straight. The speed limit here is 80 MPH. Even though the Beast and the Captain liked Rt 14, it was positively relaxing to cruise along I 15 at 80 MPH!!!
...As we glided south, our Commodorable/Navigator used the Internet to secure us a stay at Willow Wind RV Resort in greater downtown Hurricane. This is the best RV Park we've seen since leaving Pelican Lake four months ago...
...Since all non lawn surfaces were paved, we were encouraged to wash our dusty vehicles. Both were thoroughly washed and detailed that afternoon...
...Early the next day, we departed Willow Wind for the 24 mile drive to Zion National Park...
...even the drive to the Park was breathtaking!!!
...We had been told that Zion National Park has over 3 million visitors annually...What we were not told is that most of them visit on Labor Day Monday!!!...Class, does anyone want to guess what day your Captain was there???...Yes, you are correct, Mildred. The Captain was there on Labor Day..,
...After several futile attempts to park the JEEP somewhere in the same Zip Code as the Park entrance, your Disgruntled Captain executed a strategic retreat from the jostling crowds in search of a hearty breakfast. ( Did you ever notice that no one is described as GRUNTLED???...Why is that???)
...This is the view from Switchback Jack's, our breakfast haven...
...It was during this excellent meal that we made the plan to ride a shuttle bus from here to the park...
...While riding the bus, we learned that the indigenous tribe, the Paiutes refer to Zion as "The Land of the Stand Up Walls"...
...Our experience validated the Paiute description...
...gratuitous photo of a Paiute elder dancing...
...this curve is called the Big Bend....
...the Paiute call this area "Weeping Rocks"...
...We learned that some people actually HIKE along these steep canyon walls...
...The Paiute call this activity "White Man Really Stupid"...
...Despite its obvious appeal, Leslie and I decided to forego hiking and returned to the park entrance...
..,The Commodorable departing Zion...
...After having been among throngs of Japanese speaking invaders...er...most honorable visitors, we found ourselves craving some flied lice...uh...fried rice...
...We drove about 20 miles south to a great Chinese Restaurant in St George, Utah. We had a wonderful meal!!!
...There were no Asian people there...
...the Great American Road Trip so far....with side trips, we are nearing 8,000 miles...
...Tomorrow, we leave Utah. We think UTAH ROCKS! ...get it...Rocks???
Zion National has to be the best spot for pictures ... love seeing the 'west' thru your eyes and on your gas $'s! Have a safe drive to the next destination ... I'll be waiting.
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