Chapter 1. The Beginning...

It seems best to start at the beginning.  To do otherwise would deprive the reader of valuable insights as to how we got to where we are now.  No, not the geographic location (Newark, Maryland), but rather the series of events and choices that led to now.

So, fasten your seat belts, and we're off...

Dateline: Early January, 2013

The Captain awakes with a nasty smoker's cough, a high fever and the lower chest pain of approaching pneumonia.  This predicament lasts until late March, leaving the Captain greatly weakened, a confirmed ex-smoker, and determined to live out his frail remaining months in the warm embrace of southwest Florida breezes.

There is a hitch, however.  The Captain and his beautiful bride Leslie (also known to many as the Commodorable) do not have a residence in Florida.  Moreover, our meager funds will not permit the purchase of one.  "Aha", you say "just find a seasonal rental in Florida, and suffer not the intemperate cold and ice of Maryland".  Well, we can't do that.  Not yet mentioned here is the full extent of the Captain's family.  You see, there are three West Highland White Terriers in our inventory and essentially there are no landlords foolish enough to allow we five upon their property for an extended stay (or even a short one for that matter).  What to do, what to do??

Murphy, Rocky, and Opie

Here's where it gets good...what you may not yet know about the Captain is that he is both dauntless and a masterful navigator of the Internet.  Undeterred by his fiscal means, he surfs the net to find an answer and of course, finds it nearly immediately.  A MOTOR COACH!  Yes, that's it.  Something the whole family can enjoy.  The Westie pups (Rocky, Murphy, and of course, Opie) can travel with their parents, the Captain shall have a new motorized toy, and the Commodorable shall have a moveable home with too little storage for her tastes.

Among the legions of things the Captain knows nothing about...you guessed it...Motorcoaches.  Enter the internet again.  The Captain wants nothing less than the best coach money can buy.  He searches for hours each day, looking at new and used coaches along a vast price continuum, displaying a bewildering array of features.  Early among his discoveries is that the meager budget will not purchase "the best" motor coach new or used.  Instead, the Captain uses the net to help define the must haves and nice to have features of a coach. Here are the must haves:

A bath and a half bath
Washer and dryer
Large Diesel engine (over 500 HP)
King Sized master bed (Sleep Number style preferred) the Captain is quite large
Spartan K3 Chassis
All disc brakes
Independent Front Suspension
Aqua Hot Furnace/Hot Water Supply (the Captain didn't know what this was, but all the top coaches had it, so it must be important
Three large air conditioners

Residential refrigerator with ice maker
Large generator (10 plus kilowatts)
Tag axle (see Aqua Hot, above, for rationale)
Largest possible tire size
Multiple slide outs for more interior space
Heated floors (ok, maybe NOT must have, but a nice Commodorable pleasing feature)

Dateline late June, 2013

Armed with the robust must have list and his meager budget, the Captain finds the perfect coach in Lewisville, TX.  He and she go there, see the beast, buy it and promptly panic at its sheer size and complexity.  For the record, the coach is a perfectly kept 2006 American Heritage 45footer with four slide outs.  The slide outs will give us approximately 450 square feet of living space.  This compares poorly with our 3700 square foot home with a large two car garage.  Clearly a few space saving sacrifices must be made.

The Beast

La Casa del Capitan